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The Article That Halted My Self-Loathing and Convinced Me to Make a Porno

The article entitled, “6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person,” by David Wong really jolted me back on my grind. If you have some time, and I know you do, check that sucker out.  Basically it makes generalizations about many people’s behaviors and just happens to strike a few chords either by luck or sheer genius. In a nutshell, he let’s you know why you are not really successful, continually strike-out with the ladies (dudes), how you waste away your life one excuse at a time, and the justified self-hate that comes along with those shortcomings.But in the end he let’s you know that he just said all that mean and honest shit to make you do something, anything during this year. I can dig that.

Wong goes on to say, “hell, pick something at random if you don’t know. Take a class in karate, or ballroom dancing, or pottery. Learn to bake. Build a birdhouse. Learn massage. Learn a programming language. Film a porno. Adopt a superhero persona and fight crime. Start a YouTube vlog. Write for Cracked.” And that’s when it hit me; I need to film a porno and/or write for Cracked this year.
Personally, I usually succeed mildly  in most things that I undertake, I didn’t do too bad for my self with the chicks, and while I could certainly have done more with my life, it’s far from a waste thus far. Either that or I’m in total fuckin’ denial, man. At any rate, the challenge at the end got me to thinkin’ and now I am a doin’. You see, aside from making lots of porn, I also want to be a writer and I have made this knowledge public in the past. But as I have mentioned in my previous post, I do not consistently do the one fuckin’ thing required to become a good writer. No, not shrooms ( I do plenty of that), I am talking about writing, for Christ sake.

I went an entire year without producing any content for this site, which is my main platform for showcasing my talents. Sure, the conscious decision that I’ve made to write the way that I actually speak and think in real life will undoubtedly limit many of the paid writing opportunities that will flow my way, but that will just lead to the right people seeking out my talents. Perhaps I will be granted the chance to pen the biography of Steve-O from “Jackass”  or that other guy from that other show that did those other crazy things. You know who I’m talking about right? Me neither, but I would still write their memoir if it involved foul language, lewd imagery and found a way to tie little people into it. All joking aside, I love little people.

Other that sharing more of my personal experiences and opinions here, I will also resume work on a project I started a few years ago, Average Dude Fitness. Sure I am not the epitome of fit, hence the  “Average” in that title.  I like to focus on the bare minimum of what’s required to maintain what’s left of my sexy and I want to create a forum for other dudes to share their ideas on the matter. BTW, not sure if you’ve ever seen me shirtless in my prime, but I consider my self semi-sexy, regardless if I’m a little on the soft side (I had a six pack once, but I drank about three of em). So with that thought, I leave you with this image…

untanneddickpt1

…and

 

wait

 

for

 

it…

 

untanneddickpt2and yes, he just went there.

(note to self: tan fully nude next time)