I Wish I Could Go Occupy Wall Street, But I Have A Job

by d. daly on October 25, 2011

Just working on my TPS reports

However …

If any multi-billionaire out there is willing to spot me a couple a mills (as in more than one million dollars), I’ll make it down lickety split. Yeah! I know that came outta nowhere. Who still uses the phrase “lickety split?” I do! And what?

Now back to the business at hand. Any big shot, or perhaps and entire corporation that wants to contribute to my envoy — and eventual firing– can drop the cash in my paypal account right away. In return I will be on the next private jet out to new york, to join the masses.

But why would you do such a thing? Is that not a conflict of your interest? With as much phlegm I can possibly muster, I say Agghhaa! Well, here’s the scheme: I will go down there and mope around like we’re failing, and I’ll spread my negativity like a cancer, eating away at the momentum that is currently building, and before you know it, everyone will occupy the nearest Starbucks and forget the whole thing happened. I know, I’m a genius.

So, will stand idly by as the world, as you know it, begins to swell up and shatter underneath you marble heated floors. What if you maid decides to join the protest, who will take care of your children? Don’t wait until it’s too late.  So, what’s it gonna be then aye?

— Dick Daly: Sell-out For Hire!

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