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I’m Single & Selfish!

Lately I have been questioning why I have absolutely no desire to settle down and be in a committed, long-term relationship. Maybe it’s because I’ve been there and done that. Maybe I’m like the many other men that have a fear of commitment. Or maybe I’m just fuckin’ selfish.

Yes, I am living selfishly right now. But, I’m doing it for the greater good of my future family. They will appreciate that daddy has done what daddy wanted to do when daddy had the chance, so that daddy won’t have to go on that 18 year milk run or have to check out of the headache hotel with a shotgun to his face.

When I sit back and look at my life and think of some of the adventures I would like to undertake, there really doesn’t seem to be much room for a wife and/or kids in the picture. And you can’t have a wife without a mistress and that just adds up to more stress. So no thanks to a family, for now. They’d just be harshing my oh so very mellow.

Starting and raising a family is important to most, but it’s not a high priority for me at the moment. There was a time when I felt that I needed to rush the process because “the system” makes you feel like you should, but that system seems to be severely flawed when you look at the failure rate of many marriages. I’d rather wait a while before my first divorce.

I already have a emotional budget as well as several slightly varying prenup drafts set aside for at least two failed marriages. I’m prepared. I can take it. But I do not want to bring kids into that situation if I don’t have to. Kids are stupid and they don’t understand the complexities of adult, “mommy & daddy hate each other” relationships. I don’t want them to walk around their whole lives blaming them selves for mommy and daddy breaking up all because they asked daddy if it was their fault and daddy accidentally told them the truth. It’s always the kids’ fault!

Let’s face it, once kids come into the picture the fun goes out the window. I was in one of the best relationships I had ever been in until this girl ruined it one day by telling me she was pregnant. Of course I left, and fled the country. Another example of how kids bring down relationships is when one of my ladies broke off our relationship because I accidentally go another girl pregnant. Needless to say, kids are no fun. Except for when adults allow them to drink alcohol and play with lighters or other related activities usually set aside for adults. Kids are stupid.

But this post is not about kids, it’s about relationships. Don’t get me wrong, I love relationships. They are real nice when they’re new. I thoroughly enjoy forming wildy erotic and mildly toxic relationships that get deeply emotional yet remain sufficiently shallow with obscurely enlightening and highly  exciting women.

Other relationships will do, but the ones I just named are by far the best. And I would like to get into as many more of those, with many more hoes, in very many ways, for as many days as possible. I don’t care if I don’t understand them. That makes them that much more appealing. After all, the underlying language is love.

I wanted to come up with a clever analogy for relationships and after (not so) much thought I think I came up with the (not so) best way to put it. And it goes a little something like this: Relationships are like new cars; they are fun to be in for a while but sometimes you just need a whore. Perhaps that came out wrong but somehow it sounds just right.

{ 3 comments… add one }
  • Me 11/19/2009, 7:07 am

    But as we know, most hookers come with a financial obligation… a debt that we often regret to pay…. (Unless you’re a regular, which means that by now u already have some kind of inside connection)

    But you’re Dick, so of course you do…

    Otherwise, it’s out of your hands.

    Not to mention, there’s nothing more dissatisfying than watching your car being carried off by another… man… One who’s completely in charge of towing her … but at least you get to watch from a distance…only, this time it wont be so fulfilling.

    And that’s when it starts to resonate in your mind… “You’ve lost one… Let go to get one…” And that’s a hell of a mess to clean up!

    Ps: Maybe we should stop reading each other’s blogs…or just marry the two… I’m starting to see the parallels…which is quite scary…

    Then again, we both don’t believe in marriages, since there are often executed by cold hearted people…

    You know…the ones that quite often seek a security blanket…consequently stifling themselves.

    Why do people fear traveling the lonesome journey?
    You know, fear standing alone…. on their own two feet? I guess they just need that crutch.
    Only if they knew that constantly seeking a crutch will only leave them paralyzed … but only from their waist up (which includes a broken heart and crippled mind)…

    No one wants a mate that even bares a slight resemblance of being paralyzed…since they’ll never be able stand alone… (Inevitably leaving them sitting in the same exact seat that they once tried to avoid!)

    – Me

    • Anonymous 11/20/2009, 12:34 pm

      all women cum with a financial obligation. dinner and a roofie can be just as expensive as a hooker.

      the hooker thing is just an analogy. i’ve actually never had a hooker because i don’t think i could enjoy it. i’d just be thinking of her fucked up life that has led her to this point. i might just hold her and cry (after some head). but what i meant is that relationships might be nice but sometimes you want to do something completely unrelated to that relationship. but, once you’re with someone you have to consult with them before making any major moves.

      and if another man tows away my car then that leaves room in my garage for a new one. time to go shopping! i don’t mind change every once in a while.

      we should not stop reading each others blogs. and i don’t know how you’d propose we “marry” them. and i do believe in marriage just like i believe in divorce. i plan to be happily married for many years with many different women. maybe one day we’ll get married. i can be your crutch (on the inside)

      p.s. that was a very long p.s. but, your comment, no matter how long or short, are always welcome and insightful. you actually should have made this comment into it’s own post.

  • Me 11/21/2009, 6:13 am


    btw, no need for us to get married one day…however, if you want a tiny piece of me, you know the deal… in about 4 years, just turn in your donor application. lol. arent the two equivalent?


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